Apartment Life-Mirabile Dictu!

Dear Tom,

I just had a screaming fight with the people upstairs. They have been letting that baby run around the apartment for hours at a stretch, as I believe I told you last time I wrote. I just couldn't stand it this evening. I was working on a freelance job proofreading, I had a headache, and there's that baby up there running around, as well as a lot of noise out in the alley.

The alley noise was a result of their having their backdoor open and music playing while they were cooking.

So I walked up there and told them they simply had to stop allowing the baby to run for hours on end. The mother of the family was there, the daughter with the baby, and I guess some guy who is the father of the baby. This woman just started yelling at me, and I told them I had migraines and I couldn't stand the noise. Somehow or other she demanded to know whether I came to resolve a problem or to insult them. I replied I came to insult them (as I felt they deserved it). Well this sent her into a tizzy of yelling at me and shaking her finger in my face. I told her to stop shaking her finger in my face, and when she didn't, I slapped her hand away, then she hit me back. Then the daughter and the male, whoever he was, got involved, and he tried to push me toward the stairs. I grabbed the screen door and shoved him away from me with it. I can't even describe the screaming match that ensued. The mother would not stop yelling, the daughter was yelling, and the guy was trying to look menacing.

I must say I said a few choice things, ending with that I planned to call the police on them. Mirabile dictu! Ever since it's been quiet as a tomb upstairs. No elephants stomping around, no baby running in frenzied circles. Just peace and quiet. What that says to me is that they have always had the ability to be quiet; they simply have not cared to be so. They're a no-good lot of people and you'd do yourself and the building a big favor to get rid of them permanently. But if you get them out of that apartment over me, you'll be doing me a large favor for which I'll be endlessly grateful.

Carolyn Cosgrove

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In 1977, Bella Abzug said, “Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.”